The Dilbert Future

Step aside, Bill Gates Here comes today's real technology guru and his totally original, laugh-out-loud New York Times bestseller that looks at the approaching new millennium and boldly predicts: more stupidity ahead.

In The Dilbert Principle and Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook, Scott Adams skewered the absurdities of the corporate world. Now he takes the next logical step, turning his keen analytical focus on how human greed, stupidity and horniness will shape the future. Featuring the same irresistible amalgam of essays and cartoons that made Adams previous works so singularly entertaining, this uproariously funny, dead-on-target tome offers half-truthful, half-farcical predictions that push all of today's hot buttons — from business and technology to society and government.

Children — they are our future, so we're pretty much hosed. Tip: Grab what you can while they're still too little to stop us.

Human Potential — we'll finally learn to use the 90 percent of the brain we don't use today, and find out that there wasn't anything in that part.

Computers — Technology and homeliness will combine to form a powerful type of birth control.

• INTRODUCTION

1. 1 HOW TO PREDICT THE FUTURE
• Adams's Rule of the Unexpected
• Adams's Rule of Self-Defeating Prophecies
• Adams's Rule of Logical Limits
2. 2 AGING
• Retirement
• Genetically Engineered Children
• Children Are Our Future
3. 3 TECHNOLOGY PREDICTIONS
• Life Will Not Be Like Star Trek
• Technology to Avoid Work
• The Future of the Internet
• Clothing of the Future
• The Network Computer versus the Personal Computer
• ISDN
• The Bozo Filter
• Censorship on the Internet
• Technology Makes Us Less Productive
• Energy Sources
• Technology as the Leading Cause of Deth
• Men Who Use Computers — The New Sex Symbols
4. 4 LIFE ON OTHER PLANETS
5. 5 THE WORLD GETS MORE COMPLICATED
• The Incompetence Line
• Your Busy Life
• Household Services
6. 6 THE FUTURE OF DEMOCRACY AND CAPITALISM
• The Future of Voting
• Vote Deflation
• The Rise of the Hairy Reasoners
7. 7 THE FUTURE OF GENDER RELATIONS
• Sex in the Future
• Women in Charge
• Technology to Free Men
8. 8 THE FUTURE OF WORK
• The Future of Managers
• Employee Motivation
• The Revenge of the Downsized
• The Job Search in the Future
• Outsourcing
• The Job Model of the Future
• The Future of Telecommuting
• The Future of Office Workstations
• Acronyms Shotrages
• Industrial Espionage
9. 9 MARKETING IN THE FUTURE
• Spiderweb Marketing Strategy
• Markets of the Future
10. 10 GOOD AND BAD JOBS OF THE FUTURE
• Mothers, Don't Let Your Childern Grow Up to Be Vendors.
• Procurement
• Temp
• Accounting, Auditing, and Dentistry
• Venture Capitalist
• Records Retention
• Get Paid to Criticize Others
11. 11 SOCIAL STUFF
• Poverty
• The Age of Consent
• Crime
• News in the Future
• Parent Licenses
• Euthanasia
• Privacy
• Pet Services
• Food in the Future
12. 12 ENDANGERED SPECIES
13. 13 SOME THINGS WON'T IMPROVE
• Airlines
• Bicycle Seats
14. 14 A NEW VIEW OF THE FUTURE
• The Double Slit Experiment
• Objects Move
• Gravity Exists
• Cause and Effect
• Chaos Theory
• Affirmations

• APPENDIX A: AFFIRMATIONS TECHNIQUE
• APPENDIX B: DISCLAIMERS OF ORIGINALITY

This is beginning to become true…