Throwing the Elephant

If an elephant stomps on your head and there is no one around to see it, did it stomp on your head at all?

The answer is yes, if that elephant is your boss. Can anything be done about these enormous, gray, and sometimes smelly beasts? The answer is yes, if you know Business Zen. For thousands of years, Zen masters have plumbed the secrets of the universe while wearing comfortable clothing. Now you, too, can learn the wisdom of the ancients and win valuable prizes.

It may be easier than you dare to imagine. Don't you already spend a good part of your day sitting and thinking about nothing for hours on end? That's Zen! You're already doing it!

The author offers the nicest possible way to manipulate one's executive elephant to achieve enlightenment —and power.

Buddha Bullets

• The elephant is large. You are small. It is heavy. You are not. In the difference between your size and weight, there is leverage.
• In self, there is desire. In desire, there is suffering. Stop wanting. This gives you an incredible edge over the self-obsessed and needy elephant.
• As we move along the path, you may develop the ability to discount elephant displays of emotion by more than 90 percent. This is a good discount, and should be taken advantage of by anyone who is offered it.

Come. Delve into the Four (or Five) Truths, tread the Ninefold Path as you move ever closer to the moment when you take control of the elephant and throw it upside its head.

Can it be done? Yes. But not without this book!

• Foreword: What This Book Is About
• Preface: On Elephants, and How They Are Different from People
• Introduction: Buddha in Business
• Personal Preparation
• The For or Five Truths
• The Ninefold Path
• Enlightening Up!
• Zen and the Art of Managing Up
• Basic: Handling the Elephant
• Before the Elephant Arrives: You
• Before the Elephant Arrives: It
• Before the Elephant Arrives: It, Part 2
• Meeting the Elephant
• Greeting the Elephant
• Learning the Elephant Tongue
• Following Along after the Elephant
• Feeding the Elephant
• Watering the Elephant
• Polishing the Elephant's Tusks
• Compliment the Elephant: Level One
• Rejoicing with the Elephant When It Is Happy
• Jollying the Elephant When It Is Sad
• On the Importance of Enthusiasm
• Intermediate: Managing the Elephant
• Trusting the Elephant
• Obeying the Elephant
• Disobeying the Elephant
• Complementing the Elephant: Level Two
• Educating the Elephant
• Presenting Alternative Strategies to the Elephant
• Convincing the Elephant That It Was the Elephant's Idea
• Informing the Elephant of Bad News
• Getting Credit from the Elephant for Work Well Done
• Giving Credit to the Elephant for Work It Did Not Do
• Having a Nice, No-Agenda Chat with the Elephant
• When You and the Elephant Are out of Town
• Getting Drunk with the Elephant
• On Elephant Humor
• Playing Golf with the Elephant
• Facing the Angry Elephant
• Leaving the Elephant Alone
• Frightening the Elephant with Mice
• Criticizing the Elephant
• Fighting with the Elephant
• Fighting Side by Side with the Elephant
• Ignoring the Elephant in Spite of His Size and Weight
• Showing Gratitude to the Elephant
• Protecting the Elephant from Harm
• When Elephants Collide
• When the Elephant Has Gone off You for a While
• When the Elephant Seems to Have Gone off You for Good
• Transcending Love and Hatred of the Elephant
• Exchanging Your Old Elephant for a New One
• Advanced: Throwing the Elephant
• Some Prefatory Remarks
• Getting a Leash on the Elephant
• Leading the Elephant
• Mounting the Elephant
• Riding the Elephant
• Leveraging the Elephant
• Throwing the Elephant
• Epilogue: Finding the Elephant in You

If you disregard the dry humour, it gets you thinking.